Thing called Love

There was a time
There was a place
But there was fear inside
A witty line to save my face
The parachute of pride

To cross a line, takes a tiny step
But will this spark, cause the bridge to burn
My fear entwined with my regret
A beated path of safe return

So here we are, all just the same
And you will never know
My secret plan, how close we came
To share another road

Have I lost my only chance
To tell you how I feel inside
Is it just me, I’d like to know?
Or are we all just a little blind?

There’s a thing called love
That we all forget
And it’s a wasted love
That we all regret

You live your life just once
So don’t forget about a thing called love
Don’t forget, forget about a thing called love

These were the lyrics of the new trance song i heard by Above & Beyond-Thing called Love. To be honest, this is just one of the few times i can relate my life experiences via a song.

Its generally a fact to me that me and relationships are not the best of friends and that i have some-kind of a problem in the dating sphere but even though i know the root cause of my problem, i just dont wanna make any effort in treating it.

Lemme start, i can say that one of the cause is, i the fact that i lose all my God given confidence when i am/or approaching a girl i really seem to like and i dont know why!!!.... As the first stanza of the song says, there was a time there was a place(i have been in numerous circumstances where i have been in a situation in a cafe, restaurant, park where i had seen a girl i liked) but there was fear inside (i just had the moment where i lost all the confidence i have considering the confidence i have to deal with day to day situation with patients just rapidly vanishes over one person) A witty line to save my face, the parachute of pride (i just end up saying a hi to the girl n using the fake call feature of my phone to get out of a conversation by answering a call which appears real just because i dont know what to talk about with a lady). To cross a line takes a tiny step, but will this spark cause the bridge to burn (i know that if i wanna secure a date with this lady i must atleast prove i'm worth going out with but due to the lack of confidence at the moment makes me just to think about getting rejected) My fear entwined with my regret, A beated path for a safe return (in the end when i'm all alone i get pissed off and i regret why i had not taken the chance n decided the safe way out before things turned sour)

i will definitely one day go over all the other lines but just writing this is saddening.

the second cause of a lack of friendship between me and relationships is the fact that i am obsessed with football... one person told me that unless you make football your number 2-3 priority in your life you cannot succeed in a relationship.
to be honest i love football not only because its a game but also it is the one thing in earth which makes me happy and pleases me....i have come to an extent that i cry becoz my team (Manchester United) fails to win an important game against a main rival.
My love for football spreads more than Manchester United, it is the general love of the game. I know that if i only stick to watch Only my teams match and sometimes any big teams clashes i can find a way to make time for that special lady for some bonding but i just cant seem to procure a plan.

i guess I NEED HELP....am i the enemy to my own self?

P.S. Ladies is looks that important???? i never had a meaningful relationship which lasted for more than 4 months..merely becoz in the end the chick would be going out with a far much handsome guy than me (i felt gutted coz i was still young and it made me hate myself for being who i am that was when i was in 3rd year of secondary school)...i used to feel the odd one out when i go out with friends coz they would be with their girls n i am alone with a bottle of soda n my trusty phone.....the only one that lasted more, lasted for 2 years but it wasnt made by me, i was engaged to a cousin of mine who is like me a future doc and it was the family engagement issues but after a while i had the guts to call it off before anything serious turns up. i realised that i didnt fall for the lady, we had different philosophies on life. i was engaged while i was in russia in my 1st year of med school and i was just sent a pic of her. We just used to skype n text, i have seen her a couple of times but have never gone on a real date with her......

WOW this is just too much info considering the fact that its just my first blog ever but i just had no options coz i cudnt control my hands when i started typing as they were typing on free-mode

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